Rear view mirror of Blessing

Mark Driscoll's words still ring so clearly in my mind:

"Many times, we want God to show us what His plan is through a windshield so we can see it coming and be prepared.  Yet He only gives us a glance of the rear view mirror, seeing the purposes of His plan unfold AFTER they happen."

Our summer in America ended for us on July 18th when we came back to an unforeseen six full weeks of being home together before school starting (it should have been about 3 1/2).  Due to a series of unmet expectations, new school construction delays, and moments of sheer unknown, the school staff was left to just sit back and put their trust in the only One who seemed to have a plan that wouldn't "fall through".  Oddly enough, while the school staff had their own journey of letting go and surrendering, so did I...it just didn't have anything to do with classrooms or new students.  

Mine was a journey of surrender to the old me...the one who liked to be the source of her own strength.  The one who justified pushing work at the top of her priority list simply because she was doing it "for the glory of God."  The one who forgot what it was like to sit and laugh, sing, and even weep in the presence of her King.

Well let me tell you...you gain a lot when you let go.

If on July 18th I could have seen through the windshield of the next six ambiguous weeks spent at home NOT preparing for another school year, I might have thought I would go crazy.  Lesson planning, bulletin board preparing, and classroom decorating was always the agenda to my August month.  Thankfully, as I glance back through the rear view mirror of it all I see his carefully crafted use of that 6 week chunk.  On the days I felt like "productivity" was minimal, those were the days He most likely thought there was much accomplished.  In my heart.

Until this little one decides to make an appearance, I am going to try and put into words the view that I am now seeing through the rear view mirror.