Just the other day I was chatting with one of my pregnant friends about all things motherhood. Among discussing the joys and challenges, I made a statement like "Just remember not to get too caught up in caring for your child that you forget to eat and take care of yourself." At that moment, my mind quickly recounted the so familiar safety speech before every flight. I added, "Kind of like on an airplane and they tell you to put your mask on first before you put on your child's. You can't help them until you first help yourself."
I think all new moms can understand the juggling act of taking care of yourself and your very dependent child all at the same time. In our desire to be ALL there for them, we will sacrifice showers, meals, water intake, sleep (obviously), and fashion all in the name of being a "good mom". Yet I sit and wrestle with the blatant truth that if I keep giving while never taking care of myself, I will have nothing left to offer. And it hits me.
Put your mask on first.
Yet what I'm truly wrestling with is much deeper. It goes beyond making sure I'm eating healthy and working out. It surpasses the need for water intake and a warm hot shower. It's a wrestle within my heart. A fight against what the world says to be true and what I know to be true.
If there is any place in the Bible that the enemy uses to pore lies into the heart of women, it's Proverbs 31. (Yep, that ancient serpent knows his scripture...he quoted it to Jesus when he was tempted, so be watchful) I have at times allowed myself to let those words feel like a burdened list that I could never measure up to. In Christian circles, there is so much interpretation on this chunk of verses that it causes women to dissect each specific one into little goals they have for themselves of one day reaching. While making goals is admirable, what is listed in Proverbs 31 should be an overflow of something already going on inside of our hearts. In my Bible right before verse 10, the sectioned title reads:
The Woman Who Fears the Lord (emphasis mine)
Not "The Qualities of a Super Woman" or "The Awesome Mom" or even "The Excellent Wife". It's about what a woman can look like when she is first letting Someone else take care of her for a change. As Jan Meyer so beautifully describes, "this beautiful proverb is written about a woman who is confident in something other than herself...her nobility of spirit flows from a conviction that she cannot take care of herself".
So ladies (I'm speaking to myself here as well), let's sit at the feet of our Maker and realize that we cannot serve our families until we put our mask on first. The kind of mask that requires us to breathe in His love and make us whole with His purpose. There is never more of a way to bless your husband and children then when you can give them your own spiritual health. It's not selfish to step away for a bit and recharge.
Take care of yourself. For when you seek first the kingdom and his righteousness, every thing else will be added to you. So don't worry about the list of things you desire to offer your family. Just focus on one thing: your own wholeness.
"You may not know this, but Christianity isn't meant to make you into an efficient, moral woman. Are we meant to change as Christ stuns us with His forgiveness? Absolutely. But the transformation that comes, impacting who we are as women, does so naturally as an afterthought of God's love for us, surprising us as it shows up."
-Jan Meyers
