"Mei ban fa" (May bahn fa)
There is nothing to be done.
One can't do anything about it.
By far one of the most frustrating yet freeing phrases I'm still trying to learn how to breathe through. The phrase that can make the most sensible person come emotionally undone. No one wants to hear there is nothing...you...can...do.
We don't like to hear it because most of us were raised with the inner dignity of taking things into our own hands and letting hard earned perseverance work it's magic. We pride ourselves in figuring things out and going against the odds. Yay! We did something that we were told could not be done! Living in a culture where customer service is not their publicized forte, I have experienced many a moments where I received a "mei ban fa" only to figure it out myself and prove them wrong. Where there's a will, there's a way, right?
But what about the other times in life when you're not trying to convince a new taxi driver that a particular road does in fact lead to your house? What about the times when you're not persuading the store owner that all of your groceries will fit into your shopping bag?
The "mei ban fa" moments of life when...
-flights are canceled
-babies refuse to sleep
-luggage gets lost
-children get sick
-countries hold tight to new policies
-you're at the mercy of corruption
-babies still refuse to sleep
-pollution surrounds you
-important paperwork processes slowly
What about THESE things? Will our perseverance and savvy ideas make a child sleep? Maybe. But it definitely won't bring a flight back, or clean the air, or make luggage magically reappear.
I just recently saw a handwritten doodle from a friend that said "And if not, he is still good". My seeing that could not have come at a better time since I was so consumed with all of these nothing to be done moments. This couldn't have been a sweeter tail end for me.
The next time I feel hopeless as I hold my feverish child for the 5th day...He is still good.
When my dear friend has luggage lost in airline abyss...He is still good.
In the moments where hope for reconciliation seems lost...He is still good.
Not sure really how to close this out. Cause how do you follow the words "He is still good"? It kind of trumps everything I could ever want to say.
...
