Praying through a name, Nora Grace

When Dave and I were thinking of what to name our daughter, we had quite a difficult time at first.  It makes it rather challenging to come up with something when one person wants a name they hear often, while the other one wants something  that is not as common and not heard often.  How in the world do you compromise with that?!?  We finally came to an agreement that we would choose a name that sounded sweet when she was young, but then would age well with her and sound mature when she was older.  That's when we came across Nora.  No, we didn't go about looking for meanings first.  No, we didn't pass down any family names, and we didn't choose something biblical.  Just something that would transition from sweet to mature.  A couple months later, I decided to look deeper into her name and it was then that the Lord did a beautiful thing through a name we just "came up with".  He gave it meaning.  He transformed her name into a prayer using that meaning, and he revealed to me how to be intentional in my prayers for her.  Here's how it all went down in our journal for her:

July 24, 2013

Nora Grace,

Here I am spending time with Jesus and thinking about you all at the same time.  It is difficult not to think about you at a time like this for He is doing a mighty work in you already!  This morning I couldn't help but think of your name.  Nora is said to mean "honor and light".  When I think of honor, I think not of how people will honor you, but how you will seek after what is honorable.  Paul says "whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, or worthy of praise, to think on these things." My prayer for you Nora, honorable one, is that you would chase after what is honorable with all your heart and seek after truth.  Your middle name is Grace, and I think this speaks for itself.  In this world Nora  there will be much imperfection and unneeded anxiety or fear that is accompanied with it.  I pray that you would receive His grace to you so that you can give His grace to the world.  May the world see Jesus in you baby girl.  Never let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example to the believers...and the world!  When I whisper your name on my lips, Nora Grace, in that moment I am praying that you strive after what is honorable, receive His grace, and freely pour it out as a light to the world.  A short and simple prayer, but I promise to fervently pray that over you.  Live up to your name, Nora.  May you forever be a sweet fragrance of your Savior.

"I will make you as a light for the nations, that my salvation may reach to the ends of the earth."

 - Isaiah 49:6

In the moments when she's screaming and I don't have words to calm her down, may I pray her own name over her....Nora Grace, Nora Grace, Nora Grace.  Seek honor....be a light....receive and give grace.

100 gifts and counting...

Ann Voskamp challenges her readers in her book  "One Thousand Gifts" to slow down and live fully in each moment. When you are delivering a baby, there is no moment that you want to necessarily slow down or quite soak in.  That is until afterward when you are desiring to go back and recount the blessings that hid in the background of the momentary affliction.  The day after I gave birth, I had already suppressed so much of that laborious day, yet pleaded with God to bring it back just long enough so I could see evidence of Him in ways I didn't recognize at the time. So here goes...a birth story recorded through the gifts He gave me along the 22 hour journey to meet Nora Grace. 

*Note: Anything in italics are words/songs spoken over me.

1.  Car ride with no pain
2. Go bags packed and prepared
3.  Calcified placenta - meaning I could be emitted that night instead of 2 days later when I was "officially" 41 weeks
4. Delivery suite with bedroom and living room
5. Yummy foot long subway sandwiches
6.  Cold showers...for overheated pregnant women
7. Fans that hide the lack of A/C
8. Nurses eager to practice English 
9. Natural medicine to "ripen the cervix" before trying Pitocin
10. Contractions starting only 2 hours later 
11. A mom who is a light sleeper (gently tending to my "midnight moaning")
12. Hymns to hum
13. Fluffy pillows to squeeze
14. Verses memorized
15. Medicine removed...natural contractions in full gear!
16. No Pitocin needed 
17. Personal doctor that comes at 2:00 am to sleep in our suite to just "be there" if I need her
18. Yoga balls
19. Hands to grasp...squeeze...clench...
20. Warm showers
21. Warm showers with yoga ball
22. Sweet nothings whispered with every contraction
23. "Turn your eyes upon Jesus..."
24. Mom/husband team of worshipers and prayer warriors
25. "Be still and know that He is God."
26. The act of waiting, groaning, longing...reminding me of Jesus
27. Filled lungs...deep breaths
28. 10 minute rest periods granted ("Jesus can I please just have 10 minutes of no contractions so I can sleep?")
29. The ability to squat
30. Lots of pillows!
31. Effaced cervix
32. Support team with lots of energy
33. Grace and understanding to pause in conversation between contractions.
34. Long awaited 3 cm!
35. Contraction tracking app (to time some lasting 6 minutes long!)
36. "So do not fear for I AM with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God"
37. Maternity swimsuit top
38. Wheelchairs for transporting
39. Scrubs for my MOM
40. Make-up to refresh
41. Dimmed lights
42. Soothing music
43. Warm tub filling
44. A room full of nurses just waiting to tend to me
45. Weightless body
46. Any position possible, moving all around
47. Tub handles and pocketed bottom
48. My legs fitting just right so I could push against the side
49. Fixed gazes
50. "Honey, you were designed for this..."
51. Crying out to Jesus as is if He were the only one in the room.
52. "Thank you for the cross Lord, thank you for the price you paid."
53. Doctors praying over me
54. "Turn your eyes upon Jesus...look full in His wonderful face.  And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace."
55. Massages for my back
56. Warm water
57. "Be still, be still...and know that I am God."
58. Healthy heartbeat check
59. Hands to squeeze
60. Assurance at my breaking point
61. Overwhelming rush of PEACE
62. Fixed gaze on the prize
63. 6 cm!
64. "Jesus, name above all names, beautiful Savior, glorious Lord...Emmanuel, God is with us...blessed redeemer, living word."
65. Strong lungs to breathe
66. Self-control
67. No irritable word uttered (truly a supernatural HELP!)
68. "Jesus..carry me...hold me...help me...."
69. "You can do this, Lauren"
70. No cultural tension
71. American advocates
72. Air-conditioning
73. Fists as loving head rests
74. Silence
75. Concentration
76. Re-heated tub
77. "I need thee every hour, in joy or pain...come quickly and abide...or life is vain."
78. Back rubs
79. Prayers of thankfulness - Jesus as the focus
80. "Beautiful moments" recorded on cell phones (with permission)
81. Another healthy heartbeat check
82. More back rubs
83. Sweet nothings in my ear
84. Forehead kisses
85. "I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
86. New position...rocking, swaying.
87. 10 cm only 30 minutes after 6 cm!
88. Beautiful design for my body to work and take over
89. Encouragement to finish strong
90. "Great job, Mama" with every push...from all the doctors
91. Guidance to slow down to protect me from tearing
92. Deep breaths
93. Perseverance
94. Self-control
95. Supernatural "Hulk-like" strength - as my man called it.
96. Straining for the prize
97. Visualizing Jesus
98. "Fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith."
99. An "it is finished" sigh...
100. Relief
101. Baby on my chest
102. Happy, sad, I'm-so-proud-of-myself, confused, delirious tears
103. Capable nurses to bring human color back to my blue baby
104. More endurance for the 2nd birth
105. Across the room gaze at my baby girl
106. Locked eyes at my man...my support...my love
107. Only slight tear
108. Painless stitches
109. Chinese doctors all practicing her little name "Nora, Nora..."
110. More happy tears
111. Pride filling my heart
112. More loving gazes...in a trance...world fading around me
113. Affection from doctors
114. Healthy 7 lb 11 oz baby Nora
115. New life...Jesus glorified

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses (or doctors and nurses), let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely (fear, anxiety, panic), and let us run with endurance (taking deep breaths and pushing) the race that is set before us (delivering your baby), looking to Jesus (FOCUS), the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him (your baby) endured the cross (the pain, humiliation and vulnerability), despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God (proud, loved, humbled)."

Hebrews 12:1-2 *emphasis mine...as well as the added words ;)

Rear view mirror of Blessing

Mark Driscoll's words still ring so clearly in my mind:

"Many times, we want God to show us what His plan is through a windshield so we can see it coming and be prepared.  Yet He only gives us a glance of the rear view mirror, seeing the purposes of His plan unfold AFTER they happen."

Our summer in America ended for us on July 18th when we came back to an unforeseen six full weeks of being home together before school starting (it should have been about 3 1/2).  Due to a series of unmet expectations, new school construction delays, and moments of sheer unknown, the school staff was left to just sit back and put their trust in the only One who seemed to have a plan that wouldn't "fall through".  Oddly enough, while the school staff had their own journey of letting go and surrendering, so did I...it just didn't have anything to do with classrooms or new students.  

Mine was a journey of surrender to the old me...the one who liked to be the source of her own strength.  The one who justified pushing work at the top of her priority list simply because she was doing it "for the glory of God."  The one who forgot what it was like to sit and laugh, sing, and even weep in the presence of her King.

Well let me tell you...you gain a lot when you let go.

If on July 18th I could have seen through the windshield of the next six ambiguous weeks spent at home NOT preparing for another school year, I might have thought I would go crazy.  Lesson planning, bulletin board preparing, and classroom decorating was always the agenda to my August month.  Thankfully, as I glance back through the rear view mirror of it all I see his carefully crafted use of that 6 week chunk.  On the days I felt like "productivity" was minimal, those were the days He most likely thought there was much accomplished.  In my heart.

Until this little one decides to make an appearance, I am going to try and put into words the view that I am now seeing through the rear view mirror.