Where there are no children...

I just love reading the Proverbs.  They are the perfect way for people to begin mini reading plans since there are 31 of them and hey, there are 31 days in a normal month.  One for each day!  You'll never forget which Proverb to read. 

Okay...enough random musings...on with my point.

The other day I was reading and actually had a moment where I laughed out loud.  It followed quickly with my verbal affirmation of "SO TRUE!".  All you moms out there, I think if you just allow this verse to relate to you for a moment, enjoy getting a smile:

Where there are no oxen the manger is clean,

but abundant crops come from the strength of the ox. (Proverbs 14:4)

You see my laugh came right after the first line, because I couldn't help but associate that kind of mess to my own house.  But then my "so true" came immediately following the second line.  

Our life is full of these juxtaposed moments.  Moments that when compared to each other allow the positive outlook to win.  For the positive is the afterthought...what comes second...the last word.  

Where there are no oxen..

...began eventually lending itself to...

Where there are no children...

Wait?!  How dare I allow my mind to wander to such a thought?  But then I remember, it's not so much about the negative as long as I let my last word be that of a different perspective.  One full of gratitude -  redefining every tired and weary complaint.

So I made a few "verses" of my own.  Once I got going, it was pretty fun!

Where there are no children there is much sleep,

BUT much joy comes from seeing their smiles in the dark.

Where there are no children my to-do lists actually have a line through them,

BUT oh the beauty in slowing down each moment.

Where there are no children my social calendar is full,

BUT how rewarding it is to snuggle on the couch with our family of three.

Where there are no children my outfits match and I feel fashionable,

BUT how much more special it is to revel in the act of dressing up.

Where there are no children I can eat out and leave the house anytime I want,

BUT much knowledge has been gained and new recipes tried as I cook in my own kitchen!

Where there are no children my laundry load was MUCH smaller,

BUT how it melts my heart to hang up itty bitty baby socks.

My list could go on, but instead I'll save it for when I need something to help me while I wait ;)

Who knew there could be such beauty in the "BUT"? 

Just One Word

"FORGET NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS: JUST CHOOSE ONE WORD"

When I saw that a friend of mine had decided to take the 365 One word challenge, I felt inspired.  I instantly found myself brainstorming for one word that could sum up how I need to change, what I can work on, or what I can strive for.  Words like surrender, grace, and joy were the first ones that captured my attention.  As I let my mind ponder all through the day, it wasn't till I was fast in my REM cycle that night when it came to me.

WAIT 

Well...at least I was granted 6ish hours of shut eye cause there was no sleep to be had after that thought.  I lay there staring into the darkness as if the silence was going to clarify things for me.  WAIT?  What kind of word is that?  Maybe patience would be better...that's kind of like WAIT.  But no, I couldn't shake this particular word.  

I went back to the website http://velvetashes.com/my-lovehate-relationship-with-risk/ just to read on about this challenge, and saw that she noted "if [your word] doesn't scare you at least a little bit, it's probably not the right word."

You see, that word DID scare me....and not just a little bit.  While I would love to say I exude patience and excel at waiting on people or for things to happen, I'll just set the record straight right now.  I've never been very good at waiting...and it's embarrassingly immature.  When I'm walking behind someone slow in a crowded hallway, I'm quickly looking for a way to maneuver around them.  If I'm talking to someone and the wait time for their response goes beyond 5 seconds, I find myself repeating or altering my original question.  When we're heading out the door, I'm the one who is all bundled up resisting to tap my impatient foot while the other....ahem...person...is getting his things together.  The word WAIT is almost laughable to me as something to meditate on for a whole year!  Oh the things to learn!

Yet as I spent just one single day meditating on what this word encompasses, I found myself even more confident that this was in fact the perfect word for me.  Looking through my journal with all of my written insecurities and things repented in the year of 2013, I noted a few patterns.  I wanted a word that would help to conquer those sins that keep coming up like a dog returning to its vomit.  The sins that don't seem that bad, but actually destroy the very character God is molding.  The damage of no restraint or trust seemed to be a kiln to my clay like heart.  They held me fast, and left me hard...impenetrable...difficult to change.

As I scurried around at a pace that only seems logical for someone in an absolute rush, I missed the precious moments in the SLOW.  For in the stillness of the slow waiting and pauses of life, true beauty illuminates.  So for 2014 I'm setting my mind to the word wait.

I long to wait before speaking to make sure my hurtful words are restrained.  In time,  His peace and love will extinguish my flaming offensive darts.

I strive to wait and hear the whole side to a story before letting my mind race with judgement.

I crave to wait for food to cook all the way through that seems like its been in the oven forever! (true story...)

I want to wait and embrace each developmental stage of my precious daughter without always longing for the next.

I hope to wait patiently with poise for taxi's in the freezing cold without losing my cool.

I desire to wait for God's timing so I can reap his "soar like eagles" kind of rest.

I purpose to wait for stubborn, unpredictable and/or blocked internet speeds realizing that it is not...the...end...of the world.

My heart groans to wait for dear  loved ones and their hearts to change.  Although I realize He has more business with my own heart and that's probably why I don't recognize what he is doing with everyone else. Hmmm...

So yeah.  I'm spending 2014 to sit...soak...simmer...and marinate in this word.  Hopefully as I ahem...wait for this word to infuse my heart, I will see the beauty that was once a blur in all of my rushing.  For I don't want to miss the beauty of things that go slow - children developing, rush hour traffic, internet speeds, an eternity of winter, lasagna cooking, flowers growing, hearts being transformed, my own stubborn heart awakened.

Although this year I'm learning to wait, may I discover ways to productively wait.  I don't want to just spend my time waiting like a crazy person (counting, tapping my feet, or sighing).  Maybe I can come up with things like scripture to quote, songs to hum, making invisible lists of gratitude in my head, or praying for people.  

It's one thing to wait.  It's another thing entirely to wait well.  May I honor Him in the waiting.

  

New life

As the advent season had just begun, my heart swelled with the joy of preparing for the coming King.  Jesse tree ornaments were made, an advent book was purchased and Dave and I were excited for the mornings we could read each day together over coffee and then hang them on the tree.  My advent season would indeed be that of waiting....longing....yearning, yet not in the typical Christmas season way.  In a week's time, my heart experienced the tug of so much yearning that I literally thought it would bust.  I waited for a phone call from my parents to hear if my grandpa went home to be with Jesus.  I longed to be with my grieving family before he actually passed.  I yearned for that phone call to be soon.

When my heart couldn't take it anymore, we surrendered the financial stress and bought a ticket to leave in 4 days...just me and the little one.  That advent-like rush of heart groaning and expectancy flooded my soul yet again.  I excitedly began waiting for the coming days to have my dad and siblings meet Nora for the first time.  I grievously longed  for Dave to come with me since he couldn't find a substitute for the next two weeks.  I anxiously yearned for God's provision on this long international flight by myself with a 3 month old.  

Now almost two weeks has gone by and my brain still fumbles how to process the all sustaining, grace-filled provision I was granted in that trip to America.  It was almost too good to be true that in the exact year of my grandfather's passing, I was mandated to return to the States to renew Nora's visa.  It seems unreal that in this time of death, my grandma was able to hold the new life of her first great grandchild.  It's a joy to soak in the fact that my siblings who thought they would meet Nora for the first time at 9 months got to see her at 3.  And then to think because of all of these reasons drawing us to the States at this time, we could celebrate our first Christmas with family in 4 years!

May Christ be acknowledged in His goodness toward his children.  Although death brought us together, new life gave us a reason to celebrate.  Grandpa's new resurrected life, Nora's baby life, and the glorious life of our Savior, born in a manger.  What a season of joy! 

Four generations!

"Out of the stump of David's family will grow a shoot." - Isaiah 11:1