Small things with GREAT love.

After 17 hours of flights, connections and layovers we made it to the Philippines…4 month old daughter in tow. 

I had great visions of gallivanting off to the surroundings slums to bring joy through Nora’s little chubby cheeks.  I dreamt of going to the orphanage, allowing her to be clobbered by these children who have nothing but great joy and contentment.  I fashioned pictures in my head of what it would look like to go to many places with happy baby alongside me.  I couldn't wait to do all of these GREAT things.  And then the humidity, heat, and intense over-stimulation swallowed my precious daughter.  It clobbered her energy more than the street kids touching every inch of her pale skin.  I soon realized that our “outings” had to be squeezed in the time frames surrounding the 4-5 naps that she wanted each day.  Just one day in, I found myself stuck on campus only a baby monitor distance away from her sweating body flopped on someone’s bed for yet another nap.

As I spent that first day searching for some sort of redefined “purpose”, I realized that in my searching I was missing the point.  What was I searching for?  Some sort of purpose that measured up to what everyone else was doing?  Or was it a purpose that looked like I was actually here for a good enough reason?  Did I fear being judged for my appearance of just “sitting around”? Was I afraid of looking naive in bringing an infant on this type of a trip?  

Be still my child...quiet your restless soul and WAIT for me to show you.

You need to stop the searching and just start loving…right where you are.  Whether it is sitting by the poolside, or standing in the kitchen, or walking around the campus to stroller soothe your  little one.  Surrender the approval that what you are  doing is worthwhile and start soaking up the moments to love inside the gated walls of the center. 

These words pounded in my head and on my heart.

Looking back, this trip was different for me largely because it was more of  me grasping the value of love beyond all the more noticeable ministries.  I began seeing that doing small things with GREAT love was just as kingdom worthy, Lord pleasing, and a fragrant offering of His grace to those around me. 

God so beautifully placed precious people to love on right inside the gates of the ministry center.  And I’m so happy my heart and eyes were open to see them. 

No.  We were not able to make it to any mass feedings this year.   But we were able to snuggle and rap with this awesome kid James Michael. (Btw, keep praying for him.  He has had surgery to remove his tumor but endures painful headaches in the recovery process.)

No.  We couldn't handle more than 10 minutes on the street without massive over-stimulation, but we could spend endless time with Karen and her son as she awaited the day of her surgery.

No. We didn’t make it to the school to do crafts and help tutor and read with the students.  But we did get to bring the crafts to little Jannika the day after she was rescued from Tacloban.

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And no.  I wasn't able to go visit the children from Journey for Hope that I had bonded with last year, but I was able to see one of the boys I met last year get baptized in the pool at the ministry center!  Here is he shouting "Jesus is Lord!".

Just when I began to feel claustrophobic and chained down, the ministries came to me.  May I remember this for when I return back to my own community in Shenyang.  I want to have this as a daily reminder that Jesus calls me to minister right where I'm at.  I need to stop searching and just start loving.  Loving in a big way is just as valuable as doing big things.

Even though some days I feel like I am only out of my house to go to the market and back, I hope my eyes can be opened to what is on the way.  The woman walking down the stairwell at the same time as me.  The man finding recyclables in the trash can.  The guard stoically poised in front of our gate.  The children who stop and peer into the stroller.  The ladies at the market who babysit for 2 minutes while I run up to the 2nd floor really quick.  All of these people!  May I not be blind to the opportunity of loving them while my heart can easily compare with the BIG things other people are able to do.  

I long to find beauty in the quiet.  The simple.  The whispers.  Even the things that go unnoticed.  For loving in secret and without a reward is almost the greatest joy...for the One whom we are really serving does see, and is pleased.

“Do small things with GREAT love.” – Mother Theresa